Stop, taste and listen to life By DINAH ENG Gannett News Service

My idea of a great date is cooking dinner together at home with romantic music playing in the background. Then again, my idea of a fun evening with friends is having a potluck supper at someone's house with jazz or soft rock in the background. Sense a common theme here? When it comes to building relationships, breaking bread together is an essential ingredient, and author Margie Lapanja believes that food and music are nourishment for the human soul. "We've gotten to the point where we forget what a gift music and food are in our lives," says Lapanja, who's written "Food That Rocks...Favorite Recipes from the Hottest Kitchens in Music" (Conari Press, $24.95) with co-author Cindy Coverdale. "We move so fast and have so much sound going on in our minds. We can hear 100 different radio stations in the car, and can get food anywhere, but we take it all for granted. We really need to sit back, taste, and listen." Food and music hold so many memories for us. Whenever I eat tuna salad sandwiches, I always think of my godmother, who gave me my first taste of tuna at age two. Strawberry ice cream sundaes remind me of my father, who used to take me to the Dairy Queen as a special treat on summer nights. "What I Did for Love" from the musical "A Chorus Line" used to be my audition song whenever I tried out for a choral group. "Les Hommes Qui Passent" ("The Men I've Known") will always remind me of my first trip to Paris. Life is layered with textures in every moment, and if we're in tune with its sensual rhythms, we also touch the divine. It's impossible to touch the silky skin of a newborn baby without marveling at God's creation. Or noticing the shoots of a daffodil in spring popping out of the ground without feeling a sense of renewal. "We are humans on this earth, and anything that makes our bodies feel good also appeals to us on the spiritual level," says Lapanga, who also authored "Romancing the Stove" and "The Goddess' Guide to Love." "You can be sitting on a beach, with the sun shining on your face, and it may not be consciously perceived as being spiritual, but it's a memory that helps us become who we are." In a world where take-out meals and baking with mixes out of boxes is the norm, it's nice to remember that cooking from scratch is also an option now and then. Yes, it takes time to peel apples for a homemade pie, but when you do it with -- or for -- someone you love, it's worth the effort. My friend Diane, who's a Buddhist priest, has trained in the art of cooking with intent. She says that the energy of the cook always goes into the food that he or she prepares, so it's important to consciously cut, peel and stir everything with love in your heart and peace in your mind. You'll find that when you concentrate on those feelings of love and peace, nothing else exists in the moment but the task of feeding those you love, and your own soul. The way we cook, and the way we eat, is just as much a reflection of who we are as our taste in music. I like it when a guy takes me out to try great new restaurants. But I appreciate it even more when he takes the time to cook me a meal. After all, the best way to a woman's heart is feeding her with love. --- Between Us explores issues important to women who want healthy, meaningful lives.